A Tail from the Riverbank


The Riverside Cafe was a scene of tranquility…………

..That is, until one particular “customer” set foot, not just in the door, but actually upon one of the tables!

“Oi, you, garswan!”, he shrieked. ” ‘as you got a table for 398?”

The “garswan” did not reply, for, if truth be known, he was a Mute – but he was thinking plenty!! He was actually the “kingpin” in this neighbourhood, although he never risked sticking his neck out – well, not too often, anyway. “Tsk, Tsk! Hasn’t even washed his face before dinner, and thinks he can rest his feet on my tables, too!”

In the absence of a reply, the customer yelled, “Okay Guys, grub’s up!!”

The waiting staff couldn’t bear to look. Well, all except one……….

..who promptly turned tail and fled, thinking, “Ive had enough of this mallarky! This job ain’t all it was quacked up to be. Never again will I answer a job advert on “The Web!”

“Go hire yourself some migrant penguins as waiters!” was his departing remark. “I hear that they can go “cheap”!”

“Oh dear”, thought the head garswan. “I wonder who is going to foot the bill?”

“Bill, Bill”. laughed the 398, thinking that this was one huge joke.

“Why don’t you call The Bill?, hissed one. The only “dough” we has, is that given to us by some o’ those silly humans over there!”

OMG!”, the mute garswan was now thinking. “Why can’t folks read the small print on the menu?”

“How gull-ible can some folks be?”, shrieked the last departing diner, who. at least, deposited a “cygneture” for the cost of the meal.

As the sun began to set over the horizon, peace and tranquility returned once more, to the riverbank.

My Other Blogposts From this Area:-

http://www.ispyabird.co.uk/blogs/1424 “Transition”

http://www.ispyabird.co.uk/blogs/1334 Beating Those “Monday Morning Blues”…..

http://www.ispyabird.co.uk/blogs/1329 “New Kids on the Block”

http://www.ispyabird.co.uk/blogs/314 Bull in a Willow (China Shop)?

http://www.ispyabird.co.uk/blogs/199 Freezing Feathered Friends

http://www.ispyabird.co.uk/blogs/112 A Favourite Place


31 May, 2010
sixpence said:

Wow brilliant blog David such clear photos too funny looking bird sitting on the table not seen one before I am pleased you uploaded a photo about feeding well done beautiful area.

31 May, 2010
bonkersbon said:

Brilliant David you ve excelled yourself here .. great sequence and just how many puns can you cram into one blog lol

No chance of beating it but shouldnt really duck the issue..
just to say quacking blog !

31 May, 2010
david said:

Lol, Bb!!! Your mention of "beating it" has just reminded me to add grouse alongside pheasant to my growing list of birds to see and, hopefully, get pics of.

6d, the bird on the table is a black-headed gull. The figure of 398 came from the newsletter on the nearby noticeboard, which gives the results of the latest bird counts. These birds seem to be almost taking over around here in the parks and other places with water, where food is easily given.

I did see 5 cygnets, who were being kept by the other parent at a very safe distance out by the island, so there was no danger of them being fed bread. Am just wondering now, whether it was the mother or father with them?

Glad you enjoyed my little burst of creativity! :-)

31 May, 2010
geecee said:

Brilliant, David, gave me a good laugh, thank you.

31 May, 2010
jane said:

David ! Youve "quacked it " ! What a masterpiece....I loved every minute of this blog...and groaned at every pun !! The expression on the face of that black headed gull is priceless !! Really cheered my day up...consider this to be a feather in your cap !!! (couldnt resist it ) !!

4 Jun, 2010
david said:

Shall I call it Macaroni? Many Thanks, Jane and Geecee. :-)

10 Aug, 2010
janette said:

Brilliant blog David had me laughing all the way through .....great photos ....

14 Aug, 2010
david said:

Glad you enjoyed it, janette :-))

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